Competing was something that I dreamed about since I was 15 years old but like so many things in life, time goes by and we push our dreams and goals to the side to keep up with "life" and what I believed society wanted me to do--- go to school, get a degree, get a good job, settle down, get married, buy a house, have kids and do all that awesome stuff. I do NOT regret any of that but at the same time, I was always one to put others first. I never dreamed BIG, I seemed to set small goals and was afraid of anything that put me in the center of attention SO competing scared the crap outta me BUT it was that one thing that I always fell back on and dreamed... "OH HOW I WONDER".
BUT when I was at my son's school event and instantly INSPIRED by a fellow competitor (my Rockstar friend, Chelsea) that was 4 weeks away from her first show, I immediately knew that I needed to just go ALL IN! And when I say ALL IN, that's exactly what I was going to do! I immediately signed on with a local coach/team, got my meal plan in order and immediately started a very intense and regimented plan. I was 12 weeks out from my very first NPC SHOW! (Part 1 of my story at http://www.fit4lyfe.com/blogposts/npcstory-part1)
As much as I can sit here, a year later, with a very DIFFERENT view on competing and that whole lifestyle, I realize that the experience was something I needed to do for me. I needed to take that leap on a HUGE goal. I needed to TRY and SEE what I was capable of doing. I needed to DO IT for ME!
I learned a LOT about myself, about discipline, about TRUE consistency BUT most importantly, I learned that the competing lifestyle is VERY intense and VERY VERY VERY superficial! Confidence is one thing but the constant "let me see if my abs are still there" or "let me see that forehead vein" {ya'll competitors know EXACTLY what I am talking about} mirror check every FLIPPING hour is SOOOOO freaking ANNOYING! The constant posing every time you see a mirror is ANNOYING and the UNHEALTHY meal plans and workouts were just NOT what I wanted to duplicate nor teach. {YES, I said it!} OH and lets not forget the PERFECT bodies all over IG that make it seem like this lifestyle is so damn easy. {uh NOOOOO!}
I did NOT know that was the lifestyle when I started or really when I was going through it because I was SOO consumed with it. I did everything my "coach" told me to do and although I questioned the crap out of EVERYTHING, I should have trust MYSELF and my OWN personal experience and knowledge--- I mean HOT DAMN, I am a trainer and coach myself! BUT ya know how it is, we all wanna try other plans to see if they work. We LIVE and we LEARN!
After competing in two back to back shows (within 3 weeks of each other), taking a break and trying to get back into a normal lifestyle was HARD; like really HARD! I STILL struggle to this day with meals and workouts and all that jazz because that competing lifestyle is NOT something you can maintain year-round. You gain a LOT of weight after competing and its TWICE as hard to lose because your entire body physique changes. You look different! You feel different! You eat different! You train different! LIFE is just DIFFERENT!
Now... before we get all "she's bashing the sport", I am NOT! I know a LOT of girls that compete and still compete. Just like EVERYTHING else in life, some things are for some people and some things are just not for others. NOT saying that I would NEVER do it again BUT if I did, it would be with a different approach, different plan and different coach.
BUT for now, I am focusing more and MORE on my INTERNAL HEALTH! I am LETTING GO of this stereotype image that is plastered all over social media! I am working on becoming who I NEED TO BE and who God wants me to BE! I have turned to lifting as my outlet and THIS RIGHT HERE IS MY HAPPY PLACE! I workout to relieve stress, to EXHALE self-doubt and INHALE confidence. This PLACE right here is where TONS of ideas are BORN and where I get enough strength and endurance to JUST KEEP GOING. To give myself ONE MORE REP. To work on PROGRESS and forget about perfection! This place right here is MY HAPPY PLACE!